My love letter to the G1

Brian Ambrozy (primesuspect)

May 24, 2009 2:58 AM ET in Articles, , , ,

Isn't she beautiful?

Isn't she beautiful?

Baby, I’ve written and rewritten this letter so many times—it just never seems to come out right, and I throw it away and start over. I just need to get it out though; I need you to understand just how much I love you.

I know you know the story about the last phone I was with, but I’m going to write it down again just so you are absolutely clear on where I’m coming from. We had a rough relationship. I mean sure, in the beginning things were alright, but that’s because I was content to settle for something that was just “good enough” even though I had an idea that there was someone better out there for me. She wasn’t the best looking girl, but I wasn’t “in” to looks then. She wasn’t the brightest star in the sky, but then, I just needed something, anything to get me by.

The months turned into years, and the cracks started to show. She was really not aging well. She didn’t want to do anything I wanted to do, she started to fall apart a little bit, and she just gave up and stopped working after a while. That’s when I knew it was time to go.

She didn’t even cry when I left. She didn’t much care either way.

I didn’t know what to do for a while. I was lost. I kept hearing about a couple of gorgeous eligible phones, but one seemed shallow and trendy, and the other seemed high maintenance and complicated. I was looking for a phone that was like me; versatile, fun, and very easy to get along with.

Just when I thought it would never happen, that’s when I saw you.

At first, I shyly considered the idea of asking you out, but I chickened out. “What if she’s not right for me?” I pondered. “What if she hates me?”

The moment I manned up and said “I’m tired of living like this. I’m just going to go for it,” my life changed. You showed up at my door and I was instantly in love. Everything about you was perfect—the way you feel in my hands, the way you were so willing to do whatever I needed, and all of the new things you introduced me to.

You have changed everything for me, in the short span of the few days we’ve been together. It feels like we’ve known each other forever, and that’s what makes you so special. I realized why that is: It’s because you and I fit together like a hand in a glove. You are exactly what I’ve been dreaming of, and I never knew it. It all makes so much sense now. All of the things you’ve tied together for me are going to make my life better. I’ll be more productive, more connected, more able to work from on the road, and more in touch.

I’m constantly amazed at all the new tricks you keep showing me. The night we sat outside under the stars and you pointed out every star I could see, and named every single one of them showed me how smart you are. The day we went biking together and you drew a map of exactly where we’d been, how long it took us to get there, and even how much exercise I got was when I knew you were something really special. All of my friends love you, and you are so easy to talk to. If you’re not in the same room as I am, I can get on my computer and tell you all kinds of things. You always know exactly what I’m up to, even when I tell others. It’s like you’re connected directly to me in ways I can’t even fathom, and I love it.

You’re smooth, sleek, and gorgeous. You have shown me a new way to do things, and I have a feeling we’re gonna be together for a long time, baby.

10 Comments:

  1. I hear she vibrates pretty well also...

  2. Hmm.. I searched 'Sex with Phones' just now and this article came up, but nothing else.

    I believe Icrontic is lacking in the 'sex with phones' category.

    G1. Love it. Welcome. United by cells.

  3. But can she run downloaded java apps?

    -drasnor

  4. Yes, she runs Java, smart girl that she is.

  5. I want my cupcake damnit!!!

  6. It's the second result in Google.

  7. It is now results #1 & #4!! w00t!!

  8. It's easy to get ranked on Google when you use a tag that nobody is going to be searching for.

  9. I finally got to play with a G1 yesterday, and it's actually smaller than I thought it was from the pictures. I think I like it more than I used to.

    Hoping the Lancaster is awesome, but even more hoping that they can port it to an unlocked Touch Pro2 that I can pay far out the ass for. Only initial thing really holding me back from the Lancaster is the screen size at the moment. :/

  10. It's easy to get ranked on Google when you use a tag that nobody is going to be searching for.

    you'd be surprised...

    sexting, specifically, has become a slightly hot topic for parents. We actually ran a story about it at my station. Aparently, parents have just now realized that kids can send sexual images/words via phones. Cue s#*@ storm.

Troll-free since 2003 ®